ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
