addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
