Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
