My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
