Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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