Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
