When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
