I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
