I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
