He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
