I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
