This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
