You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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