I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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