yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
