What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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