That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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