tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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