I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
