cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
my nose is crying tears of wow.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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