I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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