I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
