I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
