Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
