Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
