In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
