He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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