I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
