Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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