He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
