I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
