he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she peed on how many people?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
