covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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