pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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