then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
