I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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