i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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