I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
