how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
