batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
