Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
