I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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