i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
