i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
