I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
