she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
