i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
