Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
