Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
