so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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